It’s Wednesday which means the Chicago shows on NBC are back starting tonight 8/7C and it’s just a wonderful way to start the year if ya ask me!! They’re some of my favorites that hold a very special place in my heart!
I can’t believe it’s 2023 and that I’ve made it almost two years now without my person being here to call. Or text. Or hug or kiss.
Of course we weren’t always together and “a couple” but no matter what if we really needed someone, I think we both just knew deep down that we had each other. Tyler and I had this way with each other.. I want to say about summer of 2021 his Mom and I were talking one day and she out of the blue told me that the way he talked with me, I was the only one he was that way with. Ever. It was such a special moment to hear that from her after he had passed. Having these special bonds with him just makes it that much more difficult around the holidays.
Let me tell y’all… The grief around the holidays is real and so fucking heavy!
I’ve cried so much over the last few days guys.. It’s my new normal to have these sad moments and likely will be for years to come but hey that’s okay! You want to know why? Something I’ve seen so much since Tyler has passed is that grief is the price of love and isn’t that the damn truth!! These emotions I feel that are so intense, are only because I loved and still love him so very deeply. It isn’t something we should be ashamed or embarrassed of. We shouldn’t be hiding this part of our lives from others because it is a normal part of life. Remember… Grief is the price of love!
Yesterday I had my bi-weekly session with my therapist and was pretty much just balling my eyes out to her on and off the entire time. Because well nobody else can probably truly take listening to it all and even remotely understand everything I’ve been through and am still going through. She would chime in every time I’d calm down for a minute. I had said something about it being so much harder not having Tyler here now (chatting about a specific topic) and of course talking about it out loud got me going again.. Once I had calmed down from crying that time, she chimed in and started saying something along the lines of something else being challenging with Tyler gone now and as soon as she said his name I just started completely sobbing again. Although a lot of the crying has been grief related there are plenty of other reasons why my therapy session was such a heavy one yesterday.
Thanks to my therapist, I actually decided to talk about something next week that has been weighing on me for quite some time now. The effects of having invisible chronic illnesses and I will share with y’all all the things I got on Amazon to organize my at home mini pharmacy (medicine cabinet) which I’ve been very pleased with so far! The things I ended up getting are actually for cosmetics and organization of other things so if your needing great organization product recommendations check back Sunday! If your curious, follow along and stay tuned next week! You can subscribe at the bottom of any page to get emails when new blog posts go live!
Sometime later this week I will be doing some digging into support for people with invisible chronic illnesses given that is currently what I am struggling with all alone. If there is anyone reading that has suggestions or resources for me or people like me with invisible chronic illnesses, feel free to comment and share! We would be grateful and I know I could use some tips on this front!
The idea of it getting done today sounds delightful that way I could find some support sooner but I have a feeling the evening is going to fly by.
I ended up getting in on Alex’s Free Soul to Soul Connection Webinar last minute (mine & Khloe’s Animal Communicator) which is tonight and I want to prepare because communicating with animals is something I am very interested in. I’m probably not far from being able to do it on a daily basis if I was just given the right tools and teaching but we shall see! I love Alex to death so I am very very excited for tonight!! She’s an amazing human, we have our second 60 minute session with her the day before Khloe’s 10th birthday in April which I’m so blessed she got us in for April! I made a post all about our first one, Mine & Khloe’s first ever Animal Communication session!! that includes all her social media handles so you can check her out! Alex’s schedule is closed for booking right now and you will have to get on her waitlist when that opens back up for May scheduling. It’s crazy to believe but good crazy that when I booked our first session back before my birthday, we saw her within a few weeks and by December her schedule was booked out and closed until April!!! I’m so grateful to have found her last year, she’s legit and I can’t say enough good things about her!!
I’m excited for the week ahead and really can’t wait to see what this year brings! I think I’ve already decided on my February/Valentines nails so leave a comment below if you’d like me to do a poll on my IG stories for that!
Talk soon..
XO
Lauren
